Amanda, so brave

this, as many of you know is my amazing sister Amanda, she is one of my best friends and i look up to her so so much. not only have we shared everything together, growing up as the closest of friends, sharing a triple decker bed, borrowing clothes, telling stories, we have shared everything together. in fact we have even shared the amazing highs and lows of high risk twin pregnancy. she was on bed rest just like i was, but unfortunately she delivered her twin girls early at 27wks 4days. her girls are miracle babies being born so early and weighting 1lbs 5oz, and 1lb 13oz. so tiny and fighting for their lives for 3months in the NICU. (and never once during that time did i see Amanda break down or act scared, she was so courageous through the whole thing, she is amazing.) she was willing to do what ever it took just to have the chance to be a mom.

Amanda has always wanted to be a mom. even as kids her and jo always played the mom and i was the baby. Amanda is one of those mom's you see that can handle anything without a care in the world....she always has herself and the kids together no matter what. in fact i owe her so much for literally TEACHING me how to be a mom of twins. people told me oh it just comes natural, you will know exactly what to do. well truth be told when our babies arrived i didn't know exactly what to do, i was a dear in the head lights and was so scared to take care such a tiny baby, let alone two of them. Amanda came into town and reassured me, and made me feel like i could some how pull it together....Thanks Roo.

So i could go on and on about how special and important Amanda is to me and the rest of the world. there are so many wonderful qualities about her like: her reaction to any news you have is always super fun and sincere (you can always count on Amanda to scream and jump up and down for the littlest accomplishment, but she does it cause she is so happy for everyone), she has the best most contagious laugh, she is so giving, she'll literally give you the shirt off her back if you need it, and she is the most loving, patient mom, she taught the her girls sign language and could communicate with them fully before they could even talk. so amazing. and oh how her girls love her and think she is the coolest!

So my best friend and sister got hit with probably the worst news you could ever be told. in october as she was preparing for IVF to welcome a little baby this spring she was told she had cervical cancer. This was a huge shock as she has had yearly papsmears all normal, she went from normal to cancer in 12months. Typically they find irregular cells that they can treat with different in-office procedures but the cancer cells they found were level 5. they were rapidly growing and spreading and now into her uterus. the shock, the hurt, the disbelief. she was hoping to be told yeah your pregnant!! not, you have cancer and need a hysterectomy. she consulted with several doctors, prayed and cried, but the ultimate decision...well she didn't have any options, she needed a hysterectomy or the cancer would keep spreading and then who knows what. so nov. 16th Amanda had the surgery, she is recovery well...physically. but emotionally what can you say, what can you do....nothing.

but once again Amanda is managing the end of this stage inf life as well as possible. people tell her things like, well at least you got the cancer out. but to be honest Amanda would fight cancer, lose her hair and more if she could be pregnant one last time. she would have given anything for one more chance, and that chance was taken away with the blink of an eye.

i post this because many of you know or follow Amanda's blog (kempkuties.blogspot.com), and i wanted to share a glimpse of her story to help the rest of us remember how precious it is to be a mom. the overwhelming duties and responsibilities of being a mom can be overbearing. but oh to be a mom, to have a little baby in your arms and to see them looking up at you with so much love is priceless, and worth all the sacrifice.

Amanda is so brave, and so amazing. i wish i could do something for her, but i know the only thing i can do is love her, and love the babies i have twice as much in behalf of her. Amanda has said many times, that she is just thankful to have the girls she has and that she will love them endlessly, but also a part of her will always ache and wonder what it would have been like to have another.

Aren't these pictures amazing! Amanda is so beautiful and her girls share her smile and caring spirit.

so to my dear Amanda, i love you! thanks for all that you have done for me. seriously where would i be without all your love, your encouragement, your help and your understanding...

i can't believe how brave you have been through all of this, and i wish i could help ease your heartache, and above all i'm so sorry you have had to go through all of this. i love you, and my babies love you as if you were their own. hang in there like you have been, and some how you will be blessed for all this, somehow.