GrOWiNg???

this is me and the babies at 19wks and i thought i was huge then....little did i know that there would be so much more to come!

now this is the new me...

i have a hard time recognizing myself in the mirror, but its me, it really is, now at 33wks. huge right. well then why aren't the babies growing???

we saw the the Dr yesterday and both babies are measuring small. i have never been small, not even at birth. Baby B only gained 4oz in 2weeks where she was suppose to gain at least a Lb. they discovered of course more complications, and i can't help but feel helpless, i've been on bed rest for over 4months now, trying desperately to eat enough calories, trying to sleep, trying to stay sane which has been the hardest part, and yet things are still scary and not making anything easier for these babies.

but at least we found what is going on and we'll just have to watch it closely. --the blood flow from the placenta to the baby isn't as good as they'd like to see, which is probably the reason for the slowed growth.....which freaks spence and me out!!! right now we are just in the gray area and we'll see a perinatologist on monday to figure out a plan, and keep monitoring everything close. its just hard

to continue to play the waiting game, and then hope that nothing

between now and delivery goes extremely wrong.

its hard to have no control in the situation...well i shouldn't really say that, Heavenly Father has done a good job of keeping these babies safe so far (and i can't think of anyone else i would want in control of these babies) and i know he will continue to do so....but its just hard. I know everything will be ok, it might he hard, it has been hard, but it will all be ok.

and honestly its been so nice to have the help and faith from so many family members and friends, so thank you, your help and your prayers don't go unnoticed cause we have needed everyone of them. i like what my dear friend Tessa who has also had a complicated twin pregnancy said, "You're about mile 20 of this marathon just a few more to go. Push to the finish, you can do it!" so were in it to the finish and we are so close to getting there, another bump on the road but we're gonna make it....we have too:)