I won't have time to do an update for awhile, but i want everyone to go to my sisters blog kempkuties.blogspot.com to get an update on my poor dad. ps the pictures she posted our from his best day, and about 3days out from recovery. its been really hard, rough, scarey, and unimaginable. our dad is amazing and it is by the faith, prayers, blessings, and hope of our family and our close friends that he is doing so well, and will continue to do well along his 6wk recovery. thanks for all those who have been concerned and have prayed for his recovery and for me to have the needed strength to get through all of this.
love car

something really not to blog about

Oh to have and not to have a job. I know the blog world is full of good things, things that make us all want what looks so good from our side of the computer screen. But today i figured i would commit a blog no-no and be extremely honest, and i guess to sooth my soul a little, and to avoid having to answer a million questions and bad looks.

So six weeks ago i got offered a job at a place i won't disclose. Yesterday was my first day. i have been trying to find a job like this since oct, but i wasn't excited...i was scared. i went to some training at the beginning of dec and i should have realized then that it wasn't a good fit, the staff wasn't very nice, they used really poor unprofessional language (i'm still bursting my utah bubble about tons of stuff) anyways. Yesterday i had a horrible day. i have trained and trained dozen and dozens of people and its never fun to train or to be new, but yesterday was a really bad day. i literally had to ask them several times to train me, to show me how to empty the voicemail, etc etc etc, and we only saw 5 patients....can you be more bored. i don't want to continue being negative but it took every effort not to cry and those of you that know me, or have worked with me know that i'm all business and don't cry. but needless to say once i walked out of the clinic the tears came and came. I felt so disrespected, so overlooked, so unwelcomed and the list goes on. spence is such a sweet heart and he supports me so much. its hard sometimes i feel so unsuccessful, and i want to be able to provide for him, i see all the hard work he puts into medical school and it kills me to know that i'm not adding any relief financially, and that i don't have something in my life that makes me be so driven. I just am bummed out, because i really want a job, but now i'm so scared to even apply....what if it doesn't work out again. what if no one likes me...what if i've gotten too comfortable at home...what if...what if..what if..and the doubts keep flying. so tell me how do you get that confidence in your life that makes you conquer everything, that makes you believe in yourself more than anything else in the world??? i am thankful i have spence he is the best person in the whole world he really gets me...and i'm hard to get. i am thankful that i realize doubt and horrible thoughts comes from Satan. and even though now i don't have the strength to push Satan away at least i know i have the power to make him vanish and stop picking on me. so today i'm feeling a real down, but i have hope that something good is just around the corner and i'm gonna work hard to eventually find it and prove to myself that i deserve it...thanks for the venting session.

Sunday Cat Naps

The two ladies that run this house. Too cute not to post.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION!! So its a week into the new year and i've done great with my resolutions for feeling fine in '09!! How bout everyone else???

1. Be like Heather (in more way than one) and only eat sweets on the weekends...its killing me but saturday is only 2 days away!
2. Enjoy working out!!! I work out but this year i'm going to enjoy it!! sometimes I just forget how much i love running, how much i love being all sweaty ang gross. 5xtimes a week baby!!
3. Eat only my weight watchers points and no more. I can't believe how hard this is...i like oprah have fallen off the wagon and it is really hard to get back on....but i'm on so i'm staying on.
4. Become more spiritual...read my scriptures, and listen when people well when spencer prays....at least i'm being honest.
5. Train for and do well in the sherock tri here in AZ with my 2 sisters....i didn't do any tri's last year...and i'm not going to make that mistake twice.
6. Be the best wife I can be every day...and all day.
7. Make sure my family knows I love them and would do anything for them!
8. Don't get too worked up about the stress and lack of time medical students have!...this is the hard one.
---and i think thats about it....what are yours??

ps i'm really not an oprah wathcer...but i think everyone should watch her episode she had on monday it was real honest and bob greene asked some questions that i really needed to answer so i can have my best life!

cute baby beccs spence trying to be as cute as beccs

US! and my biggest fear...sharks!! Dr. Mortensen examing

All the kids!! where is spence??

all the girls getting dirty!!

the triplets and more!!

(I promised myself i would take more pictures and this is all we came home with, i am fired from taking pics, i wish i had some of mom, dad and my sisters and of course spence and on on christmas/new years oh well)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! so i figured i better post something....its been awhile. I also wanted to give a quick thanks to all the people that let us hitch hike rides cross the country with them!!! THANKS MEIS', THANKS TY & ASH, THANKS JUDDS!

I had really missed all the little ones so we made sure we spent plent of time with them!! Christmas was a blast! Here is a taste of what we did: drove 10hrs at 5pm to Alamosa, ate, splet, played games, got in fights about rules of games, ate, slept, ate slept, ran for 10min outside it was only 15degrees this year, took family pictures, went to grandmas and wanted to take some of her cats home, played mario cart, dreamt about playing mario cart, and ate some more. Drove 8hrs with the meis' to Utah!!! played with all the children, got shot by gage over and over again, reese told me never to leave again....and i wanted to obey her! got to see my mom, sisters and family! played games, ate, spencer studied, shopped a little of course, drank too much eggnog, ran with dad and jo, played some more with the kids! love every minute of it! drove with the judds 12hrs back to phoenix or....what i'm learning to call it home.

Hope everyone had a wonderful winter break/christmas/christmaka etc!!